Hi God, how are you doing? I know I talk to you a lot recently but I feel as though you aren't listening. The past two month have been ... interesting. It started off with me being extremely anxious about certain things, but in some chains of events - that looked a lot like your doing - things went on smoothly. I mentioned the cycle that I did not want to be caught in, and it was agreed upon to act a certain way and then, I don't know what happened, I can never understand because I cannot force a person to talk to me. However, if a person clearly states that they do not want me in their life then what am I suppose to do? And frankly God, I deserve much better than that. I am a great person ... I cared, I trusted, I tried my best, I even admitted wrong. I am tired of the cycle, I wanted to break free.
Then not two days later, I get the news - that I was expecting in any case - that I am now unemployed. I guess I should say thank you? I don't know, I'm sure there are blessings in there somewhere ... While I am being quite cynical about it I do wonder what other bad thing will happen this week, I mean, bad things come in threes right?
In any case, I was wondering, why is it easier to know that you have things under control on the job front and when it comes to my personal life and relationships to feel like you either don't care, or you don't have time for it and I'm just here wading through all these piles and piles of hay trying to find that needle, that gem of a relationship? When really God, if I think about it, you should be like a metal detector and find that needle immediately, but that's not the case, why is that?
So yeah, I just want you to know that I trust you, whatever you have planned, I just wish it didn't have to be so messy at times.
Hope you're doing well.
Shanella
Comments (1)
I'm sorry things haven't been going so well :( Love you, and I know He does, too, more than you can possibly fathom.